Chatot Dies
by Emily E
Summary: Chatot finally gets what he deserves after an accident during sentry duty.
1. Sentry Duty

"WAKE UP!" yelled Loudred at the two members of the rescue team, Emily, who was a Piplup, and her partner Pikachu. The two were tired because last night they were too busy getting yelled at by Chatot for looking at him the wrong way. Emily groaned. Obviously she did not want to wake up.

"Do we really have to go to work?" complained the leader. "I refused to get yelled at by Chatot again."

"We have to," Pikachu told his partner. "After all, we _joined _this team. So we have to work.

They two team members dragged themselves out of their beds and through the hallway into the main room. The apprentices were just finishing off their daily routine of reciting the guidelines. Chatot glared lividly at the team members as soon as they aligned into their positions.

"You're late again!" scolded the parrot. "That's two more weeks of no dinner!"

"Oh, come on!" said Emily.

Chatot looked at the apprentices again.

"Okay, Pokémon! Time to get to work!"

"HOORAY!" cheered the apprentices. They all began to scatter around to head off to their workplaces. Chatot then turned towards Emily and Pikachu.

"You two! You have sentry duty today!"

"What?! But we did sentry duty like two days ago!"

"DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME OR BOTH OF YOU WILL STARVE TO DEATH."

The two members shut up, not wanting to upset Chatot and loose another dinner like they always do.

"Now that I have your attention, I demand you each to perform sentry duty. You remember how to do it, right?"

"Yes, sir," said Emily and Pikachu.

"Excellent! Now get to work!"


	2. Chatot's Funeral

After sentry duty, Chatot reviewed the team's work.

"You did absolutely terrible!" Chatot squawked. "The most dreadful performance I've ever seen!"

"Oh, come on!" shouted Emily. "We tried our best!"

"AND YET YOU FAILED YOU PATHETIC WASTES OF OXYGEN! That's it! No dinner for another year! BOTH OF YOU!"

"You can't treat us like this!" Pikachu declared. "It's not fair!"

"LIFE'S NOT FAIR!" Chatot screeched. "Now go clean the bathrooms, you useless, rotten kids."

Remorsefully, the members began to stride away.

"Honestly, I don't understand how this job could be so difficult. Watch me and I'll show you amateurs how it's _really_ done."

Chatot began to climb into the hole, but he ended up slipping and falling. A loud thud echoed through the cavern. The entire guild rushed toward the hole to peer into it.

"Chatot!" cried Corphish. "Can you hear us?!"

There was no response. It obvious that the bird could not hear them, because he was dead. A wave of silence rushed through the guild and possibly some sobbing from one of the female members could be heard. Emily only had one thing on her mind though.

"So does this mean we don't have to clean the bathrooms?"

Later that same week was Chatot's funeral. Barely anyone from Treasure Town bothered to show up. It was mainly just the guild. Of course Emily did not want to come but she was dragged to the ceremony by the other apprentices. She was the only one at the funeral who was not crying, besides the speaker, who was a Chandelure who lacked any emotion. As soon as it began, Chandelure floated up the podium, cleared his throat and began.

"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to mourned for the tragic death of the flying-type that we've known and loved the most. Would anyone like to give us a few words?"

Bidoff raised his paw. "I'd like to say a few words."

"Go ahead, Bidoff."

Bidoff climbed up on stage and began speaking.

"It's been a long time since I first met that bird. And even though I mostly came to this funeral for the food, I'm actually glad I came here anyway otherwise I wouldn't get to share this sorrowful evening with you guys."

"Okay! That's enough talking. Who next?"

Guildmaster Wigglytuff raised his hand.

"Go ahead, Guildmaster."

The Guildmaster climb up on stage and spoke in his teary voice.

"Chatot and I have known each other since we were children. I never thought this day would come. At least Chatot will remain in our memories."

"Anyone else? How about you, Emily?"

Emily groaned. "Fine. Whatever." She dragged herself up on the stage and began her speech.

"I admit, I thought Chatot was an okay guy when I first met him. I find it sad to see him go. Even though that bird tried to starve us, rob us of the money that we've rightfully earn so that we receive barely any payment, scream at us for no apparent reason, and just be a scathing jerk-face in general. At least with him gone, I won't have to deal with any of those problems. Let's be glad that Chatot is in a better place. I am done."

"Anyone else? No? Okay, now let us begin the burial and afterwards we will have our feast."

"HORRAY!"


	3. The Afterlife

"NOOOOOOOO!" screamed Chatot as he was being engulfed in flames. The Devil was laughing maniacally at Chatot's suffering.

"Okay, that's enough," he muttered to himself. The flames started to die down. Chatot was covered in burnt feathers. He lied on the floor of Hell coughing.

"Now you know the consequences of being a jerk!" Satan cackled evilly.

"Indeed, I know the consequences. The service here is terrible! I can't even get a decent room! All the beds are covered in iron spikes!"

"WHAT?!" Satan screamed. "YOU THINK YOU'RE IN A HOTEL?! You're in Hell, buddy! Hades! The Underworld! The Dark Realm! Open your eyes!"

Chatot glanced at his surroundings. Many Pokémon who have been bad during their life on Earth were being tortured brutally by the demons. You can hear their screams of pain.

"I guess I know why everyone is screaming in pain."

Satan guffawed diabolically.

"You really need to improve this hotel."

Satan's laughs suddenly turned into black stares.

"And just to note, you should really use some mouthwash! Your breath smells like dead Magikarp!"

Satan sniffed his own breath to see if what Chatot said is true.

"And please file those horns! You could hurt somebody with them!"

"I AM THE LORD OF DARKNESS! I DON'T CARE IF I HURT ANYONE!"

"More like the Lord of Rudeness! There is no need to use your outside voice!"

"That's it!" shouted the Devil. "Who's idea was to kill off this bird?"

He glanced at the Grim Reaper standing next to him, who exchanged a sheepish look. Satan then covered his face with his hand.

"You know, I'm starting to have a thought about sending Chatot to Heaven so I can have Arceus deal with him."

Chatot was already busy scolding a group of demons, until he was interrupted by Satan, who picked Chatot up using his magic pitchfork.

"Alright, Chatot," Satan said. "I'll offer you a deal here. I'll send you back to Earth if you promise to do me one thing."

"Okay, sure." Chatot was listening.

"You know that Piplup, Emily? I hate her so much. I want you to boss her around as much as possible so I could enjoy watching her suffer. Deal?"

"Deal!" agreed Chatot.

So Satan snapped his fingers and before Chatot knew it he was back on Earth.


	4. Chatot Returns

It's been a month since Chatot has passed away over at the guild. Even though most of the guild members have not gotten over his demise just yet, they were already back to performing their daily routines. Emily, as usual, was sunbathing next to the window. Pikachu approached the blue penguin Pokémon.

"Emily, what are you doing?" Pikachu asked.

"What does it look like?" said Emily. "I'm sunbathing. Arceus, can a blue penguin get some peace and quiet around here? Just please just let me be so I could enjoy the day off I never had."

"But, Emily," retorted Pikachu. "We have work to do. There's this Ponyta out in Apple Woods who needs an Pecha berry sent to him ASAP."

"You mean the same woods where we got robbed unfairly and had to cope with the pain as we returned to the guild, only to get screamed at by Chatot for a mere three hours straight and sent to bed without dinner? Yeah, I remember those woods. Now please go."

"But…"

"Now."

Emily was not in the mood for exploring. After all, she was still mad at Chatot. Even after she saved the world and Chatot's life that one time, Chatot still barely even showed gratitude. And they still were forced to have their money confiscated for no apparent reason. Emily was happy that Chatot was gone. Of course, her happiness suddenly faded when she heard a squawking voice emitting from the other side of the room. The whole area gasped.

"CHATOT?!" exclaimed the apprentices.

"Yes, it's me. No need to get worked up."

"By golly, Chatot!" gushed Bidoff. "You're alive!"

"And now that I am alive, I shall torture Emily with work for the rest of the time she works here."

Just then, a scream was heard.

"Noooo!" shouted Emily. "It can't be! It's not possible! Whyyyy?!"

"Let's just go and get the Pecha berry from Apple Woods," Pikachu insisted.

"That's it!" yelled Emily. "I'm doing what I should've done the minute I met this guy!" And so she ran over to Chatot and threw him down the sentry hole. The end.

**Yeah, I wrote this story because I was bored. But I'm not sadistic like this in real life so don't judge me. I absolutely despise Chatot from the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Time/Darkness games. I find him to be more annoying than the partner character from the first PMD games. Y'know, the one who would never leave you alone for one minute and got angry at you for no reason. Chatot is basically your partner, except arrogant, condescending, and constantly robbing you of your rightfully earned money. So yeah. I FLIPPING HATE THIS CHARACTER! Thanks for reading this fanfiction that barely took any effort to make.**


End file.
